Ah…the hit parade! We promised you a list of Jumpman Lane’s and Slut Magazine’s enemies. We couldn’t start off without this one: Stroker Serpentine. The Ol’ Mullet his GODDAMN self went bonkers and shortly after had a stint in the looney bin, caws folks thought it creepy to appear on national TV beside All The Wierdies in the World and proclaim boinking his SL daughters for hours on end in between helping his RL daughter with her homework was a great way to unwind from the exigies of life. hehehehe. We thought it weird too.
The irony of this tale is that in his most desperate hour of need, Stroker turned to his most bitter enemy (ME! ME!) declared him “King of Second Life” (ME! ME!), and prepared to flush himself, turd that he was , and meet up hopefully with all the other turds he palled around with one day in the Great Water Treatment Plant in the Sky!
Well Jumpy wasn’t having THAT! In a show of great mercy and grace, Jumpy opted for the heroic!
The Day Jumpman Lane and Prokofy Neva Saved Stroker Serpentine’s Life!
We don’t know if this fool dead or not! If he ain’t Jumpy & Prok saved that suicidal sap’s
crummy life! Two heroes for a day! 🙂
“I wish that motherfucker WAS dead…but oh, well… Hehehehe- Jumpman Lane, Second Life
criminal rating: King of Second Life
“Stroker Serpentine appears to be in some distress, so if you are a
friend in RL or SL, and have more information about how to reach him —
a Skype contact, a RL email, even a land line or cell phone — you
should check on him.”-Prokofy Neva, Second Life criminal rating: Prokstar
Like a baker’s dozen of internet saps believe Jumpman Lane did something wrong the night
Stroker Serptentine got high on some drug, had a mental collapse, and made a notable
embarrassing plea for mercy and a pathetic cry for help on Twitter! Now all these fools are
Stroker’s turdball pals, or bleeding heart politically correct forum busy bodies, such and the
like. What these morons don’t realize is that if Stroker Serpentine aint dead in a cheap motel
somewhere, they all gotta thank A Lane.
I wish I could say goodbye to all of my SL friends. Or, at least the
ones who truly were my friends. I hope to see you all in the next life.
@JumpmanLane I pray you never have to look into the face of YOUR children
and explain what a “pedophile” or “ageplay” is. It hurts. A lot.
@JumpmanLane You and “them pesky Lindens” did your job well. I quit
SL I’m bankrupt, unemployable and using. You ARE the King of SL. Grats!
See, Stroker ain’t got 300 followers on Twitter. He bowed down like the bitch-made douche he is
before his nemesis, a REAL PIMP, Jump Lane (and recognized who the fuck Jumpy is whi’ y’all
bullshittin’ The KING of motherfuckin’ Second Life!) His cry for help would have gone unheard
had Stroker not @ mentioned @JumpmanLane. Had he merely tweeted his drug dazed self-destructive
musings, Stroker would be rotting and stinking somewhere right goddamn now!
Straight up and to he point, I wouldn’t give a fuck if Stroker had killed himself or not!
Mother had Stroker Serpentine mother fuck him! Though I did wonder if anybody else would care!
So I rejoined the Bimbo Cheerleader group, said hi, and linked them to Stroker Serpentine’s
twitter suicide note.
Not one of them Bimbo Cheerhags gave the slightest fuck! They accused me of hacking the fools
account, twisting the knife if it was real etc etc. They tried to boot me out of the Bimbo
group but failed! Apparently, CheerGirl Allen don’t trust her flunkies with that much power.
(How the fuck Ima hack twitter when I can hardly werk my goddamn iPhone!
Lol apparently the twitter posts were genuine)
Originally Posted by Baccara
“As you all well know, I don’t poke my head in here too often…
Just to let you all know, I spoke to Stroker at great length
Thursday morning. He is indeed, quite distraught over a lot of
things in life at this particular moment.
We as his friends can do this best for him but just offering our
love and being just that, friends… Trying to figure out every
tiny thread of a reason for his or for that matter anyone elses
behavior right at this second isn’t going to help the situation.
He is out of town at the moment and I am sure we will hear from
him when he is ready.
I know his wife has been deluged by phone calls. That can’t be
easy or helpful to her or the children as well meaning as they might
be. Perhaps we all just need to take a step back, keep them in our
thoughts & let them all have a few VERY PRIVATE moments to work out
some things and just hope we will all have Strokers company back soon,
if that is the BEST thing for him at this time…
OK end of my railing- A Mother speaks- Love to all-Please feel free
however to contact me in SL and anything I find out I will share. Best Regards,
Baccara”-Baccara Rhodes Second Life criminal rating: F.I.C.
Perplexed and amused, then, I yapped with a few of my online friends ( who all laughed and
marveled at my ability to step into virtual dogshit while minding my own damn business. Stroker
@mentioned ME afterall). They suggested I contact Linden Lab just to be on the safe side just
in case Stroker’s dead body turned up and they tried to case me up with a misdemeanor charge of
cyber bullying. (Fuck that shit Jumpy’ll do that time!) Yet, Linden Lab has firm policies in
“Can I get account information on someone I am worried about?
However, here are some links you or your friend might find useful:
Befrienders maintains an extensive list of suicide-prevention hotlines
organized by country.
Befrienders is itself a worldwide volunteer-based organization that,
in its own words, works to “provide help to those in need of emotional
support, in order to reduce the number of people who die by suicide,
and enable people to explore their feelings in an anonymous, confidential a
nd non-judgmental environment.”
Copyright Linden Research, Inc. All rights reserved.”-Governor Linden, Second Life
criminal rating: Governor Linden
Linden Lab don’t care about suicides in Second Life and for damn sure don’t care about suicides
on Twitter. I called an ex-Linden pal I know in real life and after laughing a bit (he was
drunk) he was like make a paper trail. Contact a bunch of fools in world. That way you can
demonstrate the ATTEMPT to save your enemy. Since I did that already he said I was good.
“He should have known better than tangle with Phillip Rosedale! Phillip sleeps on a mattress
MADE OF MONEY lol”-********** Linden, Second Life criminal rating: Ex-Linden
After that I got sleepy! Last thing I did online was comment on Prok’s blog because everything
else Prok is, Prok IS a news hound and likes finding out stuff! Low and behold, Prok cared!
Prok called the law in Tampa, in New York City, and in Tampa again! Then Prok blogged his
little heart out and the innanet forums became all a buzz! Stroker Serpentine was saved! The
police finally tracked the fool down and though going through some crap and suicidal, he ain’t
Were it not for me telling Prok and Prok stirring up a Internet shitstorm, the biggest turd in
Second Life might just well have flushed himself and be on the way to the great water treatment
plant in the sky RIGHT NOW!
Anyways I got a Grand Theft Auto stuffed head souvenir of Stroker Serpentine on my desk just
like Tommy Vercetti in Vice City! V2V This is just my first offering up to you!
Nothing dies on the great interwebs! A word of caution to all you wierdies: If ya gonna be tardy, don’t go on national TV and be a re re…and DO. NOT. MAKE. AN. ENEMY. OF. JUMPMAN. LANE…He might not be so generous as to save YOUR turdy life! Hehehehe
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