Jumpman Lane, Criminal Rating: King of Second Life

How One Measures Their Second Life

People tell you time and again that Second Life is not a game. Maybe it is, maybe it ain’t. Though, one’s exploits in this world can be measured beside the exploits of others over time. One levels up or levels down accordingly. There’s only one man at the top and one man at the bottom at a time. The rest fall somewhere in between. This ranking is called a “criminal” ranking following Rockstar Games Grand Theft Auto series because to do anything in any life one must get their hands a little dirty. To be the King of Second Life, one doesn’t have to stand at a busy intersection with a gatling gun mowing down passer’s-by…it just feels like it!

Criminal Rating Cool Points

Bitch-made Douche  -1,000,000

Freebie Reseller  -100,001 to -999,999

Bimbo Cheerleader  -250 to -100,000

Role Player -100 to -249

Gesturer  -1 to -99

Noob  0 to 10

Club Security 11 to 12

Land Manager Flunky 13 to 20

Best of Second Life Feature 21 to 22

Fashion Model 23

Fashion Blogger  24

Prim Litterer 25 to 100

Alphaville Herald Post 6  101

Alphaville Herald Feature  102 to 103

Bot 104 to 200

Linden Lab Do Boy 201 to 499

Virtual Stock Market/Linden Bank Scammer  500 to 1000

Content Thief 1001 to 1499

Griefer  1500 to 4999

Banned Griefer 5000 to 9999

Dead Griefer  10,000

Linden  10,001 to 24,999

Former Linden 25,000 to 99,999

Phil Linden 100,000

Watermelinden 100,001

CEO, Linden Research Inc  100,002

Governor Linden  100,003

Forum Troll 100,004 to 249,999

Prokstar  250,000

Pornstar 250,001 to 300,000

Cyber Bully 300,001 to 499,999

Second Life Blogger 500,000 to 599,999

Content Creator  600,000 to 699,999

F.I.C.  700,000 to 749,000

Land Baron 750,000 to 899,999

Man of Power 900,000 to 999,999

King of Second Life 1,000,000


(as if you didn’t know! Stroker Serpentine is a douche! hehehehehe)