Trump won! I unno, I’m just a lil’ Lane; but the world seems to be inching just that much closer to SOME kind of disaster. Oh, faithful of Slut Mag Faithful, ya’ll know Jumpy is gonna keep you in the know when he knows.

We aint marching in the streets like those saps on TV. Jumpy aint standing outside waiting around to get shot by the cops, trying to buy a giant pretzel on 5th Avenue for 15 bucks! OHHHHH, NO! I’ve been scouring the internet trying to see what all we can do, while we can still do it.

I signed the petition to get the Electors to vote their conscience like Hamilton, Madison and folks like Jefferson (The Founding Fathers) EXPECTED the Electoral College to do Just in case some hack of a demagogue managed to snooker the dim-witted into electing an incompetent (like The Don and that empty-suit of a VP he picked).

Just look Donny T. He can’t POSSIBLY have read the WHOLE United States Constitution. He LIVES inside V. Putin’s hip pocket. If the Electoral College ACTUALLY votes the guy in on December 19th, The First Lady of Our Great Democracy is gonna be a hoochie of an Eastern European mail-order bride (THOUGH, she’ll be the HOTTEST 1st Lady of Them ALL-Jackie -O included but I’m digressing!).

Jumpy preparing for THE WORST! Something bad seems to be on the horizon. From time to time in the Illuminating section, we are gonna give you tips to try to somehow survive these trying times. I found this about the 37 things that sell ALL the way out in any emergency and instantly had a flashback to EPIC snowstorms of my youth. Trust me! Worth it!

Oh, Faithful gook luck; AND wish ME luck caws ya’ll know cyberbullies are number one on the New First Lady’s list! Hehehehehe, and I had that little tiff with that Trump supporting ex-plumber in Florida! AFTER, I saved Stroker Serpentine’s Life!

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